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Keep Calm and Tinder On

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A few weeks ago, I had an idea. I redownloaded Tinder, but not for the reasons one may think.

The Spark (no pun intended):

While using Tinder, I matched with many guys. The catch with these matches is that except for a handful of coffee dates, they have fizzled out. That gave me an idea. I decided to re-download Tinder for two weeks. I wanted to test both my number of matches and the degree of engagement. My main goal was secure a potential date.

Let the Matching Begin:

Day 1:

The first step in my plan involved reorganizing my profile. I selected my photos. They included four key photos:

  • A photo of myself featuring an intriguing destination
  • A photo of somewhere I’d visited
  • A head shot
  • One full-body shot

I kept my profile details to a bare minimum. I began swiping, accumulating 12 matches by the end of the day.

Day 2:

On the second day, my matches doubled. My interest now hinged on how many of my matches would initiate a conversation once a match occurred. A key aspect, I noticed, that conversation did not occur unless I initiated it first. Out of the previous day’s matches, I maintained conversation with two.

Day 3:

After holding a general conversation with a match from the previous day, I had my doubts if it would lead to a date. One of my matches from the second day hedged a date idea, though I remained skeptical. I did not match with any more guys, deciding to test the waters with the matches already in my queue.

Days 4-7:

Heading to the end of the first week, I continued conversations with two of my matches. One of these conversations remained generic. The other conversation grew deeper. Again, I remained doubtful of where this conversation would lead. If, and when, it led to a date.

Day 8:

Two new matches occurred. Conversations from the previous day continued.

Day 9:

By the ninth day, my skepticism increased.

Day 10:

The conversations I held with two previous matches continued. Nothing resulted from the new matches that occurred on Day 8. One of the matches revealed he was interested in nothing more a hookup. This proved my suspicion – Tinder remained true to its roots as an app for hook-ups. 

Day 11:

Nearing the end of my trial period, a match (finally) asked me out for coffee.

Day 12:

The coffee date commenced the following day. Despite a flowing conversation, the topics remained generic. As the 13th day drew nearer I remained suspicious as to whether I would hear from the Match or not.

Days 13 and 14:

Sporadic contact continued from one of my Matches, until it completely stopped by the last day.

What I Learned

As with most things on the internet, Tinder is based on a premise of spontaneity. Matches occur in an instant; but matches disappear in an instant. While the original purpose of Tinder may not have been just hookups, it is an all too common scenario. Yes, it is possible to find a relationship. But, it is not a commonality among Tinder users.

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